thinking-through-it-all

Every now and then I get to escape what has been deemed for me to be the “real world.” I used to be able to escape this world going to church camp and getting some form of manipulated emotional high from that only to be brought back to “reality” that includes home and work and school. Aside from my current cynical view on church camp and other associated institutional church relations, I rather enjoyed those breaks from stress, tension and all the other things that make life so difficult. I no longer can escape to church camp or anything of the sort, instead my life remains a balance between what are seemingly becoming two different realities. One of these realities is contained within my various groups of friends whom I love very much. This reality continually expands as I meet new people and experience new things. Unfortunately at present it seems that this is only the reality that I escape to and doesn’t actually make up the “real world” for me. The second reality is that of my family and all the stressors that are contained in our present situation. This reality is often not pleasant for me to live in and as hard as I try I cannot seem to connect my two realities my two different real worlds. The second reality continually rejects the first and vice versa. Whenever the two seem to align they still have fine lines of separation that do not need to exist but will not seemingly go away even when coerced or helped along. Moral of this story… Reality is a stubborn bitch sometimes.